In Memoriam

In Memoriam to a father who wasn't there, who drastically altered the course of my life with his abandonment and who permanently disabled and damaged me in ways uncountable and even unknown...Remembering your lies, the times you messed up and the pain my heart felt every time you failed to show up or even call. Examining the endless ways your selfishness wrecked my life and otherwise screwed me out of a normal, emotionally healthy existence. My loved ones thank you for your absence...
May you Rest In Peace

In the Winter...

Ok. Now I am procrastinating. How can amazing things ever happen to me when the highlight of my day is snooping on my son's MYSPACE page? I did go to Lowes and get new moulding for the downstairs bathroom.We painted it a light tan and it looks really nice. I have been reading the "Dummy" book and there is some good stuff. Suggestions about how to approach Agents and Publishers and even a short list of names to get started with. The thing is, I don't think I can handle the rejection. It isn't that I am fragile or anything (believe me, I have handled some major burdens lately and it made me a stronger person) but the last time I sent stuff out I got a stack of rejection letters. I am terrified that this is my last chance. I am thirty-something and dreams don't come true everyday, ya know? I need something to look forward to, to strive for. I have to believe I can make my tomorrow better based on what I do today. If things do not work this time around I may lose motivation all together. Of course, that is kind of a cowardly approach to take. I am just feeling lowwwwww....winter in Buffalo. It is bad.I think I suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) due to a lack of vitamin D. Maybe a tanning bed would help...
Anyway, I'm going to go and read another chapter of the "Dummy" book. Then I am going to do some real writing...and then maybe check my son's MYSPACE page and see if he has any new posts. OMG I am such a LOSER.