Reaching deep into my chest and twisting my heart painfully, rejection tells me I am not good enough, I am not worthy. Rejection denies me my truest dream, one I have worked for an immense amount of time. It rips away the status-quo and exposes me for a failure, a fraud. It makes me question what I know about myself, what I feel, what I think. Rejection topples my confidence and leaves it into an irreparable pile of rubble. And I wonder. How can my everything be so dependent on this one thing?
It is not, I know. But so much of me is in it. So much of myself exposed and open. Rejecting it is the same as rejecting me, my validity as a human being, as an artist.
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Searching for the Sunny Side
Life happens, sometimes when we least expect it to. It seems as though we are constantly waiting for things to get better, for the next big thing, for our dreams to come true. Are any of us really where we want to be in life? Does anyone have the perfect relationship, the dream job or the ideal life? There seems to be a blessed few who really have and are everything they hope to be. Most of us continually strive for improvement, on a constant uphill journey to balance demands and necessities of predictable life without sacrificing the things that make us who we are. It can be hard not to lose ourselves in the shuffle and not short-change our innermost dreams. IS being happy with your daily life "settling" or "selling yourself short"?? Should we always be working towards a goal or is there a time to accept the lot we've been given and call it contentment? A teacher, a mother, a student. I believe in true love, following my dreams and making them come true. Life is not always fair and I am constantly struggling to manage work and home, motherhood, money and motivation and the drama and stress that is life today. It can be crushingly cruel and ideals are often swept away into a tidy pile in the corner of the day along with childhood dreams and pieces of myself.
But...one little piece I hold dear. I allow myself the luxury of a thought and the indulgence of a whim to dream. I imagine I can change my life soon enough that it will matter. And for the little girls who dream of being a ballerina or a movie star and for the little boys wishing they will one day pitch for the Yankees or race in NASCAR...Let's dream big and see where it takes us. We can always be searching for the Sunny Side.
But...one little piece I hold dear. I allow myself the luxury of a thought and the indulgence of a whim to dream. I imagine I can change my life soon enough that it will matter. And for the little girls who dream of being a ballerina or a movie star and for the little boys wishing they will one day pitch for the Yankees or race in NASCAR...Let's dream big and see where it takes us. We can always be searching for the Sunny Side.
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About Me
- Keri Lock
- Western New York, New York, United States
- I am a teacher, a mother, a student and a writer. I am me. www.kerilock.com www.readthisway.com
1 comment:
I just want to say that you could have signed this with my name as I feel exactly the same!
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